the significant of sree suktam

The Sri Sukta of the Veda is recited with benefit especially on Fridays, together with formal worship of the Goddess, for peace, plenty, and all-round prosperity. Lakshmi, who is usually identified as the Spouse of Vishnu, or Narayana, represents the glory and magnificence of God. Narayana and Lakshmi, actually, stand for Being and Becoming. The Creator in all His glory manifests Himself in the variety in creation.

Generally, spiritual seekers make the mistake of imagining that God is outside the world and the world has to be rejected in spiritual pursuits. This is an inadequate view, because the world is the glory of God, as light is the glory of the Sun and light cannot be disassociated from the Sun. The values and glories and the abundances of this vast creation cannot be separated from God, the Almighty, even in our love for God.

Narayana represents God, and Lakshmi represents the magnificence, abundance, plentifulness and grandeur of Narayana. The tradition, among the Vaishnavas especially, is that Narayana cannot be approached except through Lakshmi, even as some devotees hold that Krishna cannot be approached except through Radha, or Rukmini. This is to say that the Absolute can be reached only through the relative. The Invisible can be contacted only through the visible. The universe of perception and experience includes the very meditator, the seeker, the student or the devotee. Only an over-enthusiastic devotee can imagine that he is outside the world and then erroneously reject the values of life, forgetting thereby that in the act of such rejection he has rejected himself also, since he is a part of this creation. A truly transcendent devotion to God is impracticable, for God is not merely transcendent; He is also immanent.

The four Purusharthas—dharma, artha, kamaand moksha—mentioned in the scriptures, very wisely lay down the principles of an integration of living, so that we have to be properly aligned inwardly not only in our body, mind and spirit, but also outwardly in respect of the manifold articles of creation—animate, inanimate, organic or inorganic. The prayer to Lakshmi in the Sri Sukta is a supplication to God through the visible form of His magnificence and glory which is this indescribable universe. Lakshmi is prosperity, and all the wealth of life is nothing but prosperity. By wealth we are not to understand merely gold and silver, and the like. All forms of happiness, satisfaction, abundance and status come under Lakshmi, the Divine Glory. Any form of superior grandeur, greatness and glory is Lakshmi. Who can say that these are undesirable, when they are reflections of God himself? Has not Bhagavan Sri Krishna told us in the Gita that wherever there is glory, grandeur and excellence in a superb form of manifestation, it is He that is manifest there? Actually, in the end, there is nothing in the world that deserves our rejection. We have also to learn that meditation, or yoga, is not a rejection of realities but an inclusion of all existence, a harmony established between ourselves and the vast atmosphere around us. So the glory of the earth is not always an obstacle to God-realisation; but, rather, the great values of life are actually indicators of the majesty and beauty of God. As the ray of the Sun gives us a suggestion as to what the Sun is, the world points to us what God could be. Prakriti and Purusha are not two different things. The world and God are inseparables.

Narayana and Lakshmi, says the Vishnu Purana, are like fire and heat, flower and fragrance, oil and greasiness, water and liquidity, sun and light, etc. And by such comparisons it is made out that the two are in fact One Being envisaged as twofold for meditation and worship. The Sri Sukta is the invocation of God Himself as the great glory of His creation, His lordliness, sovereignty and supreme suzerainty. The emotions of man, when they are religiously roused, have a tendency to consider the world as an evil and God as an other-worldly goal of life. This is an overestimation of the path that is to be trodden and an underestimation of the world. Neither is it advisable to overestimate the world, nor is it advisable to underestimate supersensible realities. The path of truth is a via media, or a golden mean. May we humbly surrender ourselves to this great mystery of God’s Glory as Lakshmi, revealed to us as prosperity all round, through which we reach the Eternal Abundance, Narayana.

principle for sheela

Customer Service Principle #1:

· Customers should be valued as people, and shown courteous and concerned attention to their needs.

Customer Service Principle #2:

· Customers are Our Top Priority

Customer Service Principle #3:

· Services should be Customer Centered

Customer Service Principle #4:

· The Customer is Always the Customer

Customer Service Principle #5:

· The Customer Deserves Value

Customer Service Principle #6:

· Each Customer is Unique

Customer Service Principle #7:

· Customers Deserve Honest Communication

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· Teamwork is Vital

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How to Become a Vampire

Introduction

Although rarely reported, vampirism is spreading. Vampires are in our theaters, in our bookstores, on our televisions and-- most importantly-- in our homes. Once feared, Vampires have become desirable and beloved individuals. But how does one become a Vampire?

To understand that, one must traverse back in history to look at the mythology of Vampires. If you believed that they were created by Bram Stoker, author of Dracula, or began with Vlad the Impaler, you'd be wrong. The legend of vampires is much older than that. In fact, some believe that they may have originated at the same time as Adam and Eve.

One word of warning, methods discussed here should not be attempted. There is no proof that they could bring a person back from the dead, and unsuccessfully attempting one of these methods could have deadly consequences. So keep in mind that everything included in this guide is for research and informational purposes only. Be careful!

What is a Vampire?

To begin, we must start by defining vampires. This is no easy task. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word vampire can be traced back to the early 1700s.1 However, the traits that define a vampire have changed through the ages.
Originally, vampires were undead creatures that escaped from their caskets. Some believed that this was caused by an evil spirit possessing the victim's corpse.
Eventually, the beliefs were complicated by the notion that vampires drink blood. At that point, other myths that involved with drinking blood were connected to vampire mythology.

Today, the only characteristic that seems to connect various offshoots of vampirism is the need for blood-- they may or may not be demons or even dead.2
For the purposes of this page, vampires may be reanimated corpses, drink blood or both.

Being Born a Vampire

Since vampires are frequently thought of as being dead, it might seem strange to suggest that someone can be born a vampire or be predisposed to becoming a vampire after dying.

According to South Slavic beliefs, children born or conceived between Christmas and Epiphany are more likely to become vampires.
In Romania, being born the seventh child is enough to make one a vampire if the previous six children were the same sex.
Being born the illegitimate child of parents who were themselves illegitimately conceived.
Being cursed either in the womb or at birth.
Sometimes there were physical signs that indicated people who were destined to become vampires. According to Slavic folklore, children with red hair and blue eyes would become vampires. Luckily, dark hair and eyes were most common in that region. It was also believed that a child who possessed any of the following traits upon birth was destined to one day become a vampire:

Teeth.

An extra nipple.

Extra hair.

A tail.

A distinctive red birthmark.

Two hearts.

Missing cartilage in the nose.

A split lower lip.

A membrane, known as a caul, covering the head.

According to Romanian beliefs, a pregnant woman had to guard herself from specific things that could make her unborn child a vampire. These things included:

Having a black cat cross her path.

Not eating enough salt.

Being looked upon by a vampire or witch.

Giving birth prematurely.

Lilith and Cain

One of the origins of the idea that vampires are born and not made comes from Jewish texts. According to the story, Eve was not the first woman created by God. Instead it was Lilith. Unhappy with her life, she left the Garden of Eden. She then made a deal with the angels who were sent to retrieve her, resulting in her transformation into a witch and the mother of all demons. She later paired up with Cain, after he killed his brother Abel. Some say that vampires are the offspring of Lilith and Cain. Although this story is not mentioned in either the Bible or the Torah, it can be found referenced in the story of Beowulf.

Becoming a Vampire Through Actions

If you are not born with the predisposition to become a vampire, then there are certain actions or events that, when they happen during your life, are likely to make you a vampire after you die. Examples include:

Eating the meat of a sheep which was killed by a wolf.

Being weaned too early.

Breastfeeding after being weaned.

Stealing ropes that were used to lower a coffin into its grave.

Sinful Deeds

More commonly, the act which would destine you to become a vampire was something specific which the Christian church considered highly sinful. For example, anyone who was excommunicated would become a vampire because they were unable to receive the sacraments and would therefore die without receiving forgiveness for sins committed. A few other examples of this include:

Living an overall sinful or immoral life, such as a living as a thief, prostitute or murderer.

Dying unbaptized, according to Greek lore.

Desecrating a holy day.

Practicing black magic or witchcraft.

If you're a priest, taking Mass while "in a state of mortal sin."

Being cruel or violent during your life.

Werewolves have long had a connection with vampires. In fact, many believed that when a werewolf died, he or she became a vampire. This also held true for any people that the werewolf killed. Unlike common beliefs, those killed by werewolves would come back as vampires-- not werewolves.

Dying to Becoming a Vampire

Throughout Europe, the manner in which one died could cause that person to become a vampire. Part of this had to do with their beliefs about life and death. For example, according to South Slavic beliefs, the soul must remain on Earth for a certain amount of time. Therefore, if someone died before that time they were doomed to roam the earth as a vampire. Some of the many other ways a person could become a vampire by the way they died include:

Dying a premature death before being baptized.

Dying due to natural forces such as fires or drowning.

Being killed by an animal or another person.

Dying in childbirth.

Dying between Christmas and Epiphany, according to South Slavic beliefs.

Dying alone.

Committing suicide.

Suicide and Judas Iscariot

Committing suicide would also cause one to become a vampire because of how it was viewed by the Christian church. Because it was a sin against God, and because the sinner could not ask for redemption after committing the sin, it was unforgivable. Worse, a person who commits suicide cannot be buried on holy ground, making it even more likely to become a vampire. This belief was so strong that in England, people who committed suicide were buried at crossroads with stakes piercing their hearts.14
Interestingly, the belief that Judas Iscariot is the first vampire comes from this myth. According to the New Testament, after betraying Jesus with a kiss, Judas hung himself. Some believe that Judas did not die but rather was forced to live with his actions for eternity while thirsting for human blood. This myth is also likely the reason behind the idea that those who commit suicide return as vampires and why those with red hair become vampires (Judas' had red hair).

Becoming a Vampire After Death

Once you have died, you might think you are safe from becoming a vampire. Sadly, (or happily depending on how you view it), no. How a body is treated during the time after death and before burial can transform someone into a vampire as well. Some examples include:

If a cat or dog should jump over the body while it is lying in state before it is buried, according to Balkan folklore.

If a chicken flies over the body before it is buried.

Giving a person an object or shaking someone's hand over the body .

If the shadow of a living person falls onto the body.

Passing a candle over the body.

However, there were a few other things that, should they happen, would make a person return from the dead as a vampire. These things include:

Not receiving the proper religious burial rites.

If their brother sleepwalks.

If their murder has been unavenged.

If the wind from the Russian Steppes blows over their body.

In Romania, if they are buried face up.

If the corpse swells before burial.

This fear that a corpse would become a vampire was so common in the 16th and 17th century, that graves were often dug up so the bodies could be checked for signs of vampirism. Churches even documented some cases where corpses exhibited signs of being a vampire.

Depending on the mythology, the vampire may or may not be inhabited by the soul of the person who died. Sometimes, corpses were reanimated by demons. An example of this is the Indian belief of vetala, which were demons who possessed recently deceased bodies.

Becoming a Vampire Through a Bite or Blood

No page on how to become a vampire would be complete without discussing how a vampire's bite and blood can turn an otherwise normal human being into a vampire. It is also one of the more modern beliefs which has become so prevalent that it has overshadowed all the other traditional means of becoming a vampire. According to various beliefs, a person can become a vampire through blood or biting by:

Being bitten by a vampire and dying or nearly dying.

Receiving multiple bites from a vampire.

Drinking the blood of a vampire after being bitten.

These beliefs, although not created by, were hugely popularized by Bram Stoker's novel Dracula and the numerous books and movies which came after it. In fact, many beliefs about vampires can be traced back to that particular story, including the idea that vampires and the story of Dracula are both based on the Vlad Tepes, better known as Vlad the Impaler. In reality, Stoker only borrowed the name "Dracula" from Vlad.

Philosophy of the Vampire

Vampires are born out of a fundamental change which can occur in the physical bodies of creatures which possess a soul. In most mortals the soul is the fundamental source for action, creating the original impulses which eventually become the person's acts. It is also a passage through which the creature can gain a small amount of the infinite power underlying the universe, power which is necessary for the functioning of a self conscious being.

A vampire is born when a mortal creature undergoes a change which causes the sensual physical body to revolt against the soul, usually expelling it, and taking control of the creature. The actions of the being are then controlled by either the remaining physical brain, the remnant of the soul, whatever caused the expelling of the soul, or a conglomerate of these forces. It is this emphasis on the physical body to the exclusion of the soul, which causes many vampires to be obsessively sensual and addicted to their own suddenly intense perceptions.

There are many things which can cause a creature to become a vampire. These include certain forms of intimate demonic possession, various viruses, the casting of spells to become a vampire, or mental disease. Each of these causes has its own peculiar nature, and can result in very different outcomes for the victim.

The change into a vampire is almost always accompanied by physical changes in the creature's body. The most common of these is a removal of the ability to feel pain, and a fundamental change in their perception of the world. These are caused by the sudden lack of soul, which influences the way everything looks and feels. The immortality of the creature comes due to a perceptual change. The body in complete control of itself does not choose to harm itself with entropy, and so stops doing it. However it is the soul which provides a creature with true wisdom and this form of immortality almost always results in major psychological problems. While immortal, eventually almost all vampires end up committing suicide due to the pressure of their own thoughts.

Changes such as an increase in strength, the ability to fly, psychic and telekinetic powers, and magic abilities are fueled by a power source which accompanies the transformation. As such these abilities are dependent on the amount of energy within the being, and will be increased or decreased by this factor.

Energy is a major problem for vampires, who have to fuel a self conscious existence without the benefit of the soul's pathway to the infinite power source. If a demon initiates the change, then their inherent power will fuel the initial act. If the change occurs due to a mental problem, or a mental problem caused by a virus, then the remnants of the soul and the body itself will have to fuel the initial change. This often results in vampires of very low consciousness and power.

Later energies have to come from another source, as even the initial power of a demon can not fuel a conscious being for long. This power is often gained through the drinking of the blood or souls of other self conscious creatures. Unfortunately the drinking of a soul, or soul blood, will only give a creature a limited amount of energy, requiring that the vampire repeat this act on a regular basis to survive.

The need for energy can become an obsession in vampires, overwhelming any sense of control and self they may have once had. If the need becomes too great, it can utterly destroy whatever mind remains in the creature, turning them into a zombie.

Some experiments have been done with plasma, as well as nuclear and subatomic energy sources as a way of fueling vampires. This technology is still in its infancy however, and most of the vampiric test subjects claim that these methods are still too weak to effectively sustain them.


METHODS FOR BECOMING A VAMPIRE

Intimate infection from a demon: When a demon infects a mortal in such a way that they bind with the physical body of the creature, they can often pry the soul out of control of the body and permanently remove it. The power of the demon fuels the initial removal of the soul, as well as the first few hours of action. After this, most vampires will require the blood or soul of other conscious beings. Over time the demon will become more efficient at extracting the energy from these sources, and will require less. However initially, the need will be quite great.

This method of infection can also be transmitted to other conscious beings through the sharing of blood. In this way the demon within the initial vampire can multiply itself. The power of the second vampire will be slightly less then its makers, however over time it will also increase. There is also some speculation that when the initial vampire is destroyed, if the demon is eradicated with it, that all of the vampires born of that demon will also be destroyed.

These vampires tend to be the most powerful, and possess the strongest attributes. This is because the energy of the demon fuels the initial transformation, and the first few hours of existence. The demon also helps the body to become accustomed to its new existence, and can synthesize the souls or blood of other creatures, making it a useable source of energy. They also make it easier for the body to tap into telekinetic, psychic, and magical powers, as well as the new physical power within its body.

Infection from a virus: Some viruses can cause a change in the body which destroys it in such a way that the soul fleas, but the physical brain retains some control over the creature's actions. Initially such beings will be extremely weak and may be mistaken for dead. However, if they gain a source of energy, and a way to synthesize it into something they can use, they may be able to cobble together a consciousness. Their energy source may be the blood or souls of humans, or might be some other form of magic or chemical energy.

These vampires are marked by weakness, and a lack of consciousness. They are often compared to zombies, with the main difference being that vampires do not seam to degenerate after the initial change, while zombies are in a constant state of decline.

Vampirism by mental disease - In rare cases a person's physical mind can become obsessed with the sensual body to such an extent that it begins to revolt against the creatures inner soul. This is usually a violent struggle, and can be very painful and difficult for the victim.

As the soul is removed the creature begins to require alternate sources of energy to fuel its consciousness. In these scenarios, blood or souls are as likely as any other source to become the fuel, as the creature does not possess the ability to synthesize blood into a useable form. Some cases have been observed where vampires of this type become voracious eaters, others draw their energy from fire, and others use magical means to fuel themselves.

Spells to become a vampire: There are many mystical methods which can be used to become a vampire. To find out more about them, click here.

For a brief background in magic, click here.


WEAKNESSES OF THE VAMPIRE

The greatest weakness vampire's face is their need for energy, often in the form of blood. Since consuming the blood and souls of conscious beings is generally opposed by the conscious beings themselves, vampires have a constant enemy that they are intrinsically tied to. They can't live with their prey, but they can't live without them.

If a vampire finds a way to synthesize enough energy to survive, they will usually develop a second problem. As a creature increases its ability to take energy from subtle existences such as life, they will become more sensitive to the energy in the world around them. Generally if the vampire becomes good enough at synthesizing energy from blood or souls to survive, they will also become so sensitive to energy that sources such as the sun and fire will be extremely harmful to them. This is why many traditional demon induced vampires, who enjoy instant acclimation to vampirism, also suffer from the inability to go out in daylight. However there can be a convergence point for some vampires where they become so good at synthesizing energy that their power increases faster then their bodies sensitive to light and heat, and they become impervious to them once again.

vampire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spells to Become a Vampire


A vampire is a mortal creature that has for some reason rejected its soul, expelling it from and giving control of its actions to the sensual body, the source of the reaction, the remnants of the soul, or a conglomerate of all three. While the most common way to become a vampire is to be initiated by another vampire, or to become a source via demon possession or disease, there are also some magical methods which can be used.

To read a short background on vampires that will help you to understand the following information click here

To read a short background on magic that will help you to understand the following information click here


NATURAL MAGIC VAMPIRES

Natural magic uses the actual reality of the world to create similar effects in dissimilar places. Using these principals to become a vampire requires a shamanistic approach. In this method ritual and concentration are combined to try and commune with the universe in such a way that you gain an understanding of how to affect the change you want. In the case of a vampire you are trying to eject the soul from the body, while finding a new and viable source of energy. This is a difficult thing to accomplish, and can take many months or years to accomplish.

The rejection of ones soul from ones body by choice is theoretically impossible, so this method generally has to be preformed on others. The rituals used are very similar to those used to create a zombie, and often result in a creature with similar intelligence and lack of self will.

The specific actions and thoughts necessary to perform this act are going to be very specific to your culture and particular mind set. As such the best way to learn this procedure is to do it, spending hours in concentration, and using rituals which are meaningful to you to gain a better understanding of the truths of the universe around you. Some methods you may want to try are rhythmic dancing, transcendental meditation, the use of spiritual journeys or fasts, and most important a dedication to being more aware of the nature of your own soul, in order to gain a better understanding of your relation to the spiritual world. The use of a teacher or shaman will greatly speed this process up, as they will be able to evaluate you from their own more enlightened position, and determine the methods that would work best for you individually.

One thing to note is that when creating a vampire, it is not always necessary to infuse them with a need for blood. This illegal and dangerous habit is also very difficult to develop, as the synthesis of blood and or souls into life energy is very complex. It is often easier to create a vampire which is fueled by chemical or physical energy.



MULTI-VERSE SPELLS FOR BECOMING A VAMPIRE

In the multi-verse theory of magic, existence is composed of an infinite number of universes, within which every possibility exists. The hallmark of this method is the use of perceptual changes in yourself, to try and enter a universe in which your desired effect is true. The more unlikely an event, the more obscure the universe it exists in, and the harder it is to get there.

Becoming a vampire with this method will require the use of deep meditation and or chanting. This process is necessary to change your own perceptions enough such that you actually begin to shift your physical being towards a universe in which you are a vampire.

In using this method it is important to keep your mind open and to be ready to believe in the possibility of anything. This has to be balanced with your ability to perceive the reality of the dimension you are in at any given time. Just believing you are a vampire is not enough, you actually have to change the way your eyes see things, and the way and your mind understands them.

As usual the methods which will work best are going to have to be individually tailored to your mind and situation. A teacher will help this greatly, because they will be able to evaluate you and make suggestions from a trained position relative to you. However, as you become more proficient at this method it may become difficult to remain in a dimension in which you know the teacher, and as such you may require several teachers over the course of your training.

As far as the drinking of blood, there are many dimensions in which you are a vampire that doesn't require blood and has found a much easier method of taking in energy. As such you should try and steer yourself towards these specific dimensions. This is for your own safety and ease, as murder is not acceptable in almost any society.


USE OF MAGICAL CREATURES OR ITEMS TO BECOME A VAMPIRE

Sometimes force, or balance magic has been used to create an item which is very dense in energy and vampire consciousness. Vampire consciousness simply refers to thoughts or ideas about vampires, or thoughts of vampires. When this combination exists in an item, it may be used by a willing creature to invoke vampirism in their own bodies. There may be a word of power which is uniquely tied into the item and activates it, however generally they are used by concentrating on your desire. Occasionally these items are even powerful enough to be used to turn others into vampires, although this generally requires the use of someone with an extremely powerful or trained will.

There is also a theoretical possibility that a demon or spirit can give part of their power to a creature to allow them to change themselves into a vampire. This is different from regular demon induced vampirism in that the demon does not in whole become a part of the creature, but instead only a little bit of the demons power is used to initiate the reaction. This speculation has arisen because many demons have offered this power to humans and other creatures, in exchange for the use of the expelled soul. However in every reported case the demon has betrayed the person as soon as they agreed, taking not only their soul but their bodies and minds as well.

Tujhe Mein Rab Dikhta Hai

original

Tu Hi To Jannat Meri, Tu Hi Mera Junnon
Tu Hi To Mannat Meri, Tu Hi Rooh Ka Sukun
Tu Hi Ankhiyon Ki Thandak, Tu Hi Dil Ki Hai Dastak
Aur Kuch Na Janu Mein, Bas Itna Hi Jaanu..
(Tujhe Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karu) - 2
Sajde Sae Jhukta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karu
Tujhe Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karu..



Kaise Hai Yeh Doori, Kaise Majboori
Mene Nazaron Se Tujhe Choo Liya
Kabhi Teri Khusboo, Kabhi Teri Baatein
Bin Maange Yeh Jahan Pa Liya
Tu Hi Dil Ki Ha Rounak, Tu Hi Janmon Ki Daulat
Aur Kuch Na Janu, Bas Itna Hi Janu..
(Tujhe Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karu) - 2
Sajde Sae Jhukta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karu
Tujhe Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karu..

Vaasdi Vaasdi Vaasdi, Dil Di Dil Vich Vaasdi
Naasdi Naasdi Naasdi, Dil Ro Ve The Naasdi
Rab Ne... Bana Di Jodi.....
Vaasdi Vaasdi Vaasdi, Dil Di Dil Vich Vaasdi
Naasdi Naasdi Naasdi, Dil Ro Ve The Naasdi

Cham Cham Aaye, Mujhe Tarshaye
Tera Shaya Ched Ke Chumta..
O O, Tu Jo Muskaye, Tu Jo Sharmaye
Jaise Mera Hai Khuda Jhomta..
Tu Hi Meri Barkart, Tu Hi Meri Ibaadat
Aur Kuch Na Janu, Bas Itna Hi Janu..
(Tujhe Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karu) - 2
Sajde Sae Jhukta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karu
Tujhe Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karu

Vaasdi Vaasdi Vaasdi, Dil Di Dil Vich Vaasdi
Naasdi Naasdi Naasdi, Dil Ro Ve The Naasdi
Rab Ne... Bana Di Jodi.....

in english

you are my paradise, you are my craving
you are what i pray for, you are what brings my soul peace
you are what cools my eyes to see, you are the footstep of my heart
i dont know about anything ellse but i do know
( in you i see God, o what should i do)-2
in an offering of love my head bows down to you, o what should i do
in you i see GOd, o what should i do

what kind of distance is this, what kind of helplessness
that i have to touch you with only my eyes
sometimes your scent, sometimes your words
without asking for it i have recieved the whole world
you are what lightens my heart, you are all the valueble things of lifetimes
i dont know about anything ellse but i do know
( in you i see God, o what should i do)-2
in an offering of love my head bows down to you, o what should i do
in you i see GOd, o what should i do

cham cham it comes, it makes me yearn,
your shadow bothersomely kisses
how you smile, how you become shy
is as if my God is spinning
you give me worth, you are my penance
i dont know about anything ellse but i do know
( in you i see God, o what should i do)-2
in an offering of love my head bows down to you, o what should i do
in you i see GOd, o what should i do

God has made this couple

Tamil Sangams

The Tamil Sangams were legendary assemblies of Tamil scholars and poets that, according to traditional Tamil accounts, occurred in the remote past. Three assemblies are described, the first two of which were held in cities since "taken by the sea", and the third of which was held during the 4th century BCE in the present-day city of Madurai.
The Sangam period refers to the period from roughly 300 BCE to 300 CE, when the earliest extant works of Tamil literature were created (also known as Sangam literature). However, the name Sangam and the associated legends probably derive from a much later period.
Whilst the legendary accounts are generally rejected as ahistorical, some modern scholars, such as Kamil Zvelebil, find a kernel of truth in them, suggesting that they may be based on one or more actual historical assemblies. Others reject the entire notion as a fabrication. Nevertheless, legends of the Sangams played a significant role in inspiring political, social, and literary movements in Tamil Nadu in the early 20th century.

Sangam legends

Early literature from the pre-Pallava dynasty period does not contain any mention of the Sangam academies, although some early poems imply a connection between the city of Madurai, which later legends associate with the third Sangam, and Tamil literature and the cultivation of the language. The earliest express references to the academies are found in the songs of Appar and Sampandar, Shaivite poets who lived in the 7th century. The first full account of the legend is found in a commentary to the Iraiyanar Akapporul by Nakkīrar (c. seventh/eighth century CE). Nakkīrar describes three "Sangams" spanning thousands of years. The first Sangam is described as having been held at "the Madurai which was submerged by the sea", lasted a total of 4440 years, and had 549 members, which supposedly included some gods of the Hindu pantheon such as Siva, Kubera and Murugan. A total of 4449 poets are described as having composed songs for this Sangam.
The second Sangam was convened in Kapatapuram. This Sangam lasted for 3700 years and had fifty-nine members, with 3700 poets participating. This city was also submerged in sea. The third Sangam was purportedly located in the current city of Madurai and lasted for 1850 years under 49 kings. The academy had 49 members, and 449 poets are described as having participated in the Sangam.

Late legends say that the third Sangam was held on the banks of the sacred Pond of Golden Lotuses in Madurai

There are a number of other isolated references to the legend of academies at Madurai scattered through Shaivite and Vaishnavite devotional literature throughout later literature. The next substantive references to the legend of the academies, however, appear in two significantly later works, namely, the Thiruvilaiyadal Puranam of Perumpaapuliyūr Nambi, and the better-known work of the same title by Paranjothi Munivar. These works describe a legend that deals mostly with the third Sangam at Madurai, and is so substantially different from that set out in Nakkirar's commentary that some authors such as Zvelebil speculate that it may be based on a different, and somewhat independent, tradition. In Nambi's account, the 49 members of the third Sangam led by Kapilar, Paraar and Nakkīrar were great devotees of Shiva, numbered amongst the 63 nayanars. In Paranjothi's telling, Saraswati was cursed by Brahma to take forty-eight bodies (representing the forty-eight letters of the Devanagari script. The letters became men, and founded the Tamil sangam in the Pandyan kingdom. Shiva, in the form of Sundarar, became its president. Nakkirar himself is said to have later headed the Sangam, and to have debated Shiva. The Sangam is described as having been held on the banks of the Pond of Golden Lotuses in the Meenakshi-Sundaresvarar Temple in Madurai.
In contemporary versions of the legend, the cities where the first two Sangams were held are said to have been located on Kumari Kandam, a fabled lost continent that is described as the cradle of Tamil culture. Kumari Kandam supposedly lay south of present-day Kanyakumari District and, according to these legends, was seized by the sea in a series of catastrophic floods.

Historicity
There has been almost no comprehensive archaeological or scientific research done into the legends of the supposed earlier literary academies. From the very little available archaeological and epigraphic evidence, the earliest Tamil kingdoms may have been established only in the 5th century BCE, long after the earlier two Sangams were supposed to have been held.
Some scholars, such as Kamil Zvelebil, take the view that assemblies may have been founded and patronised by the Pandian kings and functioning in three different capitals consecutively till the last sangam was set up in Madurai. Zvelebil argues that the appearance of the tradition in literary and epigraphical sources means that it cannot be dismissed as pure fiction. He suggests that the Sangam legends are based on a historical "body of scholiasts and grammarians 'sits' as a norm-giving, critical college of literary experts, and shifts its seat according to the geopolitical conditions of the Pantiyan kingdom."
In 470 CE, a Dravida Sangha was established in Madurai by a Jain named Vajranandi. During that time the Tamil region was ruled by the Kalabhras dynasty. The Kalabhra rulers were followers of either Buddhism or Jainism. The Dravida Sangha took much interest in the Tamil language and literature.[18] We can also find Jain names such as Uloccnaar and Maathirthan among the early poets. Jain cosmology and mythology are also found mentioned in the early Sangam poems.

Sangam literature

The earliest extant works of Tamil literature date back to the period between 300 BCE and 200 CE and deals with love, war, governance, trade and bereavement. The literature of this period has been referred to as The Sangam literature and the period in which these works were composed is referred to as the Sangam period alluding to the legends. Although the term Sangam literature is applied to the corpus of the earliest known Tamil literature, the name Sangam and the legend was probably from a much later period.
An accurate chronological assessment of literary works has been rendered difficult due to lack of concrete scientific evidence to support conflicting claims. Undue reliance on the Sangam legends has thus culminated in controversial opinions or interpretations among scholars, confusion in the dates, names of authors, and doubts of even their existence in some cases. The earliest archealogical evidence connecting Madurai and the Sangams is the 10th century Cinnamanur inscription of the Pandyas.

income...

http://www.jomkitamakan.blogspot.com/

beautiful.....................

here is some beautiful paintings for a beautiful moment...........

THE HISTORY AND LEGEND OF LORD AYYAPPAN

The descedants of Pandya dynasty discarded by Thirumala Naicker Diwan of Raja Vijayanagar, who was then ruling the Pandya Kingdom, comprising of Madurai, Tirunelveli, Ramananthapuram, were living scattered in places like Valliyur, Tenkasi, Shengottah Achankovil and Sivagiri. At that time, Pandiyas were ruling in many parts of Travancore and the descendants of Pandiya dynasty belonging to Chempazhanattu Kovil, living in Sivagiri were given the right to rule the country of Pandalam, the King of Travancore eight hundres years ago. King Rajasekara was the direct descendant of this dynasty.

King Rajasekara was very talented, courageous and just in his deed, People were living happily and prosperously in his regime. However, the king was very unhappy that he had no children and his subjects were also worried that he had no heir to inherit his kingdom. At the request of the queen, both of them used to pray to Lord Shiva for blessing them with a child.

Mahishasuran, Son of Ramban, undertook a severe penance (Dhavam) towards God. Lord Brahma tried every tactics to stop his penance, but having failed in his attempts, appeared before the Asura and asked what boon he wanted, from him. Mahishasuran asked Lord Brahma to give him a boon by which nobody in the earth would be able to kill him, and Lord Brahma conferred the Boon on him. Mahishasuran, armed with his boon, began to commit atrocities and murders on the earth and terrorised people. Fearing his wrath, people ran away to far away places.

The Devas seeing the atrocities committed by Mahishasuran came to the conclusion that only a divine power could kill him and approached Chandikadevi pleading to put an end to Mahishasura who was misusing the boon given by Lord Brahma. Chandikadevi set out on her mission and killed Mahishasura in a duel, on earth.

Mahishi daughter of Karamba, brother of Ramban undertook a severe penance towards god in order to take revenge on the Devas, who were responsible for the death of her brother. Lord Brahma appeared and offered to confer on Mahishi any boon expect that of immortality. Mahishi asked Lord Brahma to bless her with a boon by which nobody, except the son created out of the union of Shiv (Hari) and Vishnu (Haran), would be able to kill her. Lord Brahma gave the boon and Mahishi went to Devaloka and started harassing the Devas.

The Devas incurred the wrath of Durvasa Muni, who cursed them to go grey. On the advice of Lord Mahavishnu that this curse could be removed only by administering Amrutham taken from Palazhi, the devas took it from the Palazhi, but the Asuras snatched it from them. Lord Mahavishnu in the disguise of Mohini, went to the Asuras and got back the Amrutham and restored it to the Devas. Lord Shiva, when went to see Lord Mahavishnu who was in the guise of a Mohini succumbed to her beauty and out of their union, was born a child. Lord Shiva adorned the Child's neck with a golden chain and ordered that the child be entrusted to the care of his childless disciple, king Rajasekara of Pandalam.

One day King Rajasekara went for hunting in the forest adjoining the banks of River Pampa, along with his men. He started hunting courageously in the dense forest which was a sanctuary for many wild animals. After that hunting was over, King Rajasekara advised his men to take rest and sat there entertaining himself with the sight of the natural greenish beauty and the water-falls, of the forest.

At that time, he hearda child crying from somewhere in the forest. Surprised, he went round and reached the banks of River Pampa. There he saw a beautiful and bright-lit child kicking its legs and cryingout, and was in a dilemma whether to take the child to the Palace or leave it there itself.

While the King was engrossed in his thoughts, a Sanyasi appeared before him and told the King that he need not be afraid of the child and take him to the Palace and that the child belonged to Kshatriya dynasty capable of mitigating all sufferings. The Sanyasi further stated that since the Child had a gold chain around his neck, his namebe called "MANIKANDAN" and when the child completed twelve years, the King would know his divine history. After uttering these words, the Sanyasi disappeared.

The King of Pandalam was very joyous; he took the child to his Palace and briefed the Queen about the incident. The King and the Queen, having prayed to Lord Shiva, for a child, were very happy that they had been blessed with a child. The people also felt happy that a heir to inherit the Kingdom after the King, has been found. However, the Diwan of the Kingdom who was thinking that he would be the next crown after Rajasekara was worried.

When the child, named Manikandan, began to grow in the Palace, everything began to prosper in kingdom. He was taught all martial arts and sastras and the Guru was surprised at his brilliance and agility and the extraordinary talents. The Guru came to the conclusion that he was not an ordinary child, but a divine power. After completing his education under the Guru, Manikandan approached the Guru to offer his Guru Dakshina.

When Manikanda went to his Guru for his Ashirwathams, the Guru told him that he already knew that he was a divine power and he was blessed for having been given an opportunity to have Manikandan as a student. The Guru further told Manikandan that he had one request to make and that was that his only son who was blind and dumb should be given vision and speech. Manikandan called the Guru's son and put his hands on his head and immediately Guru's son had his vision and speech. Manikandan told the Guru not to reveal this to anyone and went to the Palace.

In the meanwhile, the Queen gave birth to a male child and the child was named Raja Rajan. King Rajasekara, impressed with the talents of Manikandan, decided to crown him, treating him as his eldest son. He ordered the Diwan to make arrangements for the same. The Diwan hated this and started devising plans to prevent Manikandan from being crowned to the throne and to annihilate him. He tried various methods including poisoning of food, but failed in all these. However, Manikandan's body bore an injury due to these and ordinary physicians could not cure it. Lastly, Lord Shiva disguising himself as a physician, treated Manikandan's injury and cured him.

Having failed in all his attempts to kill Manikandan, the Diwan approached the Queen and told her that she had her own son, it was not correct to crown a person who came from the forest. He further told the Queen since Arthasastra itself has justified any misdeed if it was done to extract a good thing, he would suggest that the Queen should pretend as if suffering from severe headache and he would make the physician tell that only a tigress' milk should be brought to cure the Queen and since Manikandan would only go to the forest to bring the milk, he would be in danger from the wild animals and even if Manikandan returned without bringing the tigress' milk, the King's love for him would not be as before. The Queen, became a prey to the Diwan's plot and agreed to do what he told, so that her son could succeed the King to the throne.

The Queen, as told by the Diwan, cried out loudly that she was suffering from severe headache and the King, believing this, called the Diwan to bring in the best physicians to treat her. The Physician, brought by the Diwan examined the Queen and told the King that the Queen had been suffering from a dangerous disease and it could be cured only by applying Tigress' milk. The King sent several of his men to the forest for bringing this milk. The King understood that it was an impossible task and wanted his dear Queen to be cured at any cost and offered half of his Kingdom to anybody who brought the Milk.

When the King was thinking about this, Manikandan asked him to let him go to the forest promising to bring the milk. However, the King told him that he was awaiting to be crowned to the throne that he was also not of age and hence refused to let him go. Manikandan told the King inspite of his refusal, he had to go lest he would be cursed for not curing the Queen. Since the King persisted in his refusal Manikandan wanted the King to promise to do something he wanted. The King gave the promise and asked him what he wanted and immediately Manikandan asked the king to permit to go to the Forest. The King felt disappointed that he had been tricked and with no other alternative permitted Manikandan to go to the forest.

King Rajasekara made arrangements to send a group of his loyal men along with Manikandan, which however was refused by Manikandan on the ground that the tigress might run away seeing the crowd of soldiers. King Rajasekara sent alongwith Manikandan necessary foodstuffs and coconuts with three-eyes, in remembrance of Lord Shiva. The Panchabuthas, sent by Lord Shiva, accompanied Manikandan to Forest.

However, on his way seeing the atrocities of Mahishi in the Devaloka, he went there and in the battle between them, Mahishi was pushed by Manikandan into the earth, where she fell on the banks of Azhutha River. Manikandan clashed with her there.
At the end, of the battle between Mahishi and Manikandan at Azhutha River banks, Manikandan climbed up her chest and danced violently. The impact of his dance was felt in the Earth and Devloka and the Devas were afraid. Mahishi knowing that the divine power dancing on her body was none other than the son of Hari and Haran, prostrated before Manikandan and died. This dance was witnessed by Lord Shiva and Mahavishnu from a place called Kalakatti (It is said that Leela, daughter of Kavalan, a Karamban, with a face of Mahishi and freed herself from the curse and obtained Moksha by the grace of Shri Dharma Sastha, which is described in Sabarimala Temple as Malikapurathu Amma, by which name she has a temple there)
After killing Mahishi, Manikandan went to the forest for the tigress milk, when Lord Shiva appeared before him and told him that though he had done good for the Devas, still there was one main task and that was to give comfort to the King Rajasekara who was very concerned about him and also to cure the Queen's ailment. Lord Shiva further told him that he could go to the Palace with the tigeresses andLord Indran would help him. As stated by Lord Shiva, all female devas in the disguise of a tigeresses and male Devas, as tigers with Lord Devendran as the tiger on whom Manikandan rode, they started their journey to the Palace.

When Manikandan, with the tigers and tigeresses, approached the Palace, the people who ridiculed him when the started his journey to forest whether he wanted a toy tigresses, really got panicky seeing the violent bunch of animals and started running helter shelter.

The Sanyasi who appeared at the forest at the time of King Rajasekara's visit there when he heard a child's cries, again appeared at the palace and told King Rajasekara the Identity of Manikandan. Hearing this, the King stood in great surprise and silence. He stood non-pulsed as he saw Manikandan riding a tiger and people running away. Seeing the King, Manikandan descended from the Tiger's back and told him that since the tigresses were there, he could get the Queen cured with their milk. King Rajasekara, fell at his feet and asked to forgive him for whatever happened without his knowledge, and asked him to send back the tigers as the Queens ailment had been cured themoment Manikandan went to the forest. That day Manikandan reached the age of Twelve.

King Rajasekara told Manikandan that the Diwan was responsible for all these things and hence he should be punished. However, Manikandan told the king that he need not punish the Diwan and all had happened only through the will of God, and he told further that time had come for him to go to Devaloka since the task for which he created himself in the Earth is completed and asked the King what boon he wanted from him and he was ready to give it as he was much pleased by his devotion. Immediately, King Rajasekara told him that they wanted to raise a temple in his memory and suggest a suitable place for the temple. Manikandan aimed an arrow which fell at a place called Shabari, where in Sri Rama's era a Sanyasini called Shabari observed Dhavam. Lord Manikandan told the King to build the temple in that place and then he disappeared.

At the advice of Saint Agasthya, King Rajasekara laid the foundation stone for the building Shabarimala Temple. Bhagwan Manikandan, had made it clear that he would grace only those devotees who offer Dharshan after performing Viradha for fortyone days keeping themselves isolated from family desires and tastes and leading a life like Brahmacharys, thinking of good things always, and that while coming for his darshan, they shall adorn themselves with three-eyed coconut and foodstuff/Aantha Garland in their heads, as the Bhagwan did when he went to the forest to fetch tigress milk, and bathed in River Pampa raising slogans of Saranam and climb the eighteen stairs.

As graced by the Bhagwan King Rajasekara completed building of the temple with eighteen stairs to reach it. When the King was thinking how to put Dharmasastha's figure in the temple for darshan to devotees, he recalled the words of the Bhagwan, the River Pampa was a holy river as River Ganga, Sabarimala was a holy place as Kasi. Dharmasastha sent Parasuraman to Sabarimala who carved the figure of Lord Ayyappa and installed it on the day of Makarasankranthi. Every year lakhs and lakhs of people throng to Sabarimala irrespective of caste or creed and adorn themselves with garlands and irumudis, chants slogans on Lord Ayyappa, bathe in holy river Pampa, climb up the eighteen stairs and get the grace of Lord Ayyappa, the Dharmasastha.


SWAMIYE SHARANAM AYYAPPA

The Jewel Casket is carried on head from the ancestral residence of the royal family of Panthalam to the Shrine on the day. A Garuda, the Brahaman kite, follows this ornaments-carrying procession, hovering about in the sky, After these ornaments are worn on the Lord the bird circles the temple in the sky three times and disappears. Excited by this sight the devotees begin to chant "Swamiye Sharanam Ayyappa". A Star never seen before in the sky appears on the day of Makarajyothi day before the sighting of the Jyoti. A Jyoti is seen for a little time on the hilltop showing the presence of Swamy Ayyappan gracing his devotees.

"SHARANAM VILI"

Sharanam Vili is the chanting of Lord Ayyappa's name by the devotees while climbing the hills of Shabarimala, they also do this when performing the pooja of "Kettunira"
and also at the time of travelling to the Lord's Place (Shabarimala).

days without you...............

I miss you so much day and night
I can't realise why you're gone
I just think I treat you right
but now I'm again alone

The days without you are so long
these days - without your kiss and smile
and I don't know what I've done wrong
I've been thinking of this for a while

A few questions that I need to know -
why does my heart feel so bad ?
why you could ever hurt me so ?
why can't I get you out of my head ?....

Now I'm standing here alone
with this weight upon my heart
wondering why you're gone
remembering our feelings from the start

In my mind I have all my memories in a range -
each moment spent with you
is unforgettable
but I can't realise what made you change
for me this is just un-get-able

I know I won't pull trough without you by my side
so baby come to me - don't run and hide
The only thing I want is to be with you
please honey - make my wish come true

Don't you know that you make my days count?
And I'm always happy when you're around
it doesn't matter what we do
as long as I'm here with YOU

miss............u............

hi........this is a very important person in my life friends....



he helped to to see this world differently......he gave me hope and strength to struggle and



he showed me the meaning of living. gave me the joy to look forward in my life. to forget my past and he managed to take out the softer part of me.....



such a great man..........i respect you and give you the "most important person in my life" title.



dont care how many years u will be away but still i will be hoping that you will come back........



i still remember those cute laughter of yours............



i miss the places we went and explored.............



you helped me to discover and explore many things in my life......



not just physical but mentally tooo.....



whatever happens, life have to go on but i will be still waiting for you forever and ever,



may God bless you with all the best things in life.............



may you also be blessed with sweet things in life tooo....



lots and lots of love from my heart........



a gratitude and tribute for you mr E, (as what ur mum calls u)

important people and important events in my life......

nenjekul peidhidum maamazhai- tamil and english meaning

vaaranam aayiram


Nenjukkul peidhidum maa mazhai
Neerukul moozhgidum thaamarai
Sattendru maarudhu vaanilai
Penne un mel pizhai

I feel the rain in my heart
Lotus is sinking in the water
Sudden change in climate
Girl, fault is on your side

Nillamal veesidum peralai
Nenjukkul neenthidum tharagai
Pon vannam soodiya kaarigai
Penne nee kaanchanai

huge Waves never stop
You swim in my heart girl
You shine like a golden beauty
girl, you are daughter of kasi

Oh shaanti shaanti oh shaanti
Yen uyirai uyirai neeyenthi
Yen sendrai sendrai yennai thaandi
Ini neethan yenthan andhathi


oh shaanti, you carried my life
why did you go after me
you are my chapter hereafter

Nenjukkul peidhidum maa mazhai
Neerukul moozhgidum thaamarai
Sattendru maarudhu vaanilai
Penne un mel pizhai

Charanam 1

Yedho ondru ennai eerka
Mookin nuni marmam serka
Kalla-thanam yedhum illa
Punnagaiyo boganvilla

Something attracted me
you add mystery in nose tip
Your natural smile is like boganvilla

Nee nindra idam endral Vilai yeri pogadho
Nee sellum vazhi ellam panikatti aahadho
Yennodu vaa veedu varaikkum
Yen veetai paar yennai pidikkum

The place you stood can fetch more price
The path you take can become ice bars
come with me to visit my home
you see my home and will start liking me too !


Ival yaaro yaaro theriyadhey
Ival pinnal nenje pogadhey
Idhu poyyo meyyo theriyadhey
Ival pinnal nenje pogadhey

I dont know who she is
my heart, dont follow this girl
cant make it whether this is true or false
my heart, dont follow this girl

Nenjukkul peidhidum maa mazhai
Neerukul moozhgidum thaamarai
Sattendru maarudhu vaanilai
Penne un mel pizhai.. oh.o.


Nillamal veesidum peralai
Nenjukkul neenthidum tharagai
Pon vannam soodiya kaarigai
Penne nee kaanchanai

Charanam 2

Thookangalai thooki sendrai
Yekkangalai thoovi sendrai
Unnai thaandi pogum podhu
Veesum kaatrin veechu veru

You took my sleep away
You made to long for you
When i cross you
I can feel the air is different

Nil endru nee sonnal en kaalam nagaradhey
Nee soodum poovellam oru podhum udhiradhey
Kadhal enai ketka villa
Ketkathadhu kadhal illa

If you say stop, my time doesnt move
the flower which you put on your hair never falls down
love never asked me before entering me
if one doesnt propose, that is not love

Yen jeevan jeevan neethaney
Yena thondrum neram idhuthane
Nee illai illai yendrale
Yen nenjam nenjam thaangadhey

You are my life
i felt that at this very moment
if you refuse
i cant bear it at all

female harmony:
Nenjukkul peidhidum maa mazhai
Neerukul moozhgidum thaamarai
Sattendru maarudhu vaanilai
Penne un mel pizhai.. oh.o.


female & male harmony:
Nillamal veesidum peralai
Nenjukkul neenthidum tharagai
Pon vannam soodiya kaarigai
Penne nee kaanchanai

m: Oh shaanti shaanti oh shaanti
Yen uyirai uyirai neeyenthi
Yen sendrai sendrai yennai thaandi
Ini neethan yenthan andhathi

HAPPY DEEPAVALI MALAYSIANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WISH U ALL A VERY HAPPY AND JOYFUL DEEPAVALI THIS YEAR..............

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work of art

alone

Purity once had a name,
And beauty once had a face.
Life once had a meaning,
And once I was safe.
Once there was freedom,
And once I could laugh.
Happiness once was alive,
And once I had another half.
Once I shared his love,
Once I was by his side,
Once I felt I fitted,
So quickly that died.
His grace so great,
His beauty so vast,
All I ever wanted,
Was for it to last.
Fate maybe had another plan,
and he had another love,
But it all fell apart,
The hand too big for the glove.
Now it's all died away,
Happiness, joy, love; all memories.
Now I walk alone in this dark, dark world,
With no light to guide my way..............

To Watch You Leaving

To Watch You Leaving . . .

is to know such pain, it's jagged edges tearing into my soul. As a stake from the garden tears into the warm, dark earth.

To Watch You Leaving . . .

knowing all the while that never again will I fit myself, warm with sleep, against your solid back.

Nor hear your steady breathing. Or feel the beating of your heart.

To Watch You Leaving . . .

aware in every moment of every day that my dreams, my future; once tied with silken ribbons to yours, will never come to be.

And the mornings once so silent and hopeful, us gazing at the mountains and so gently awaiting forever - are now but small pieces of my past.

To Watch You Leaving . . .

your heart a tight fist of anger and your dry eyes betraying nothing of you. I cry for both of us, my love, because you will not.

To Watch You Leaving . . .

is to know that I've lost my place on this earth. My station. My heart's home. That I will wander, forever a nomad. Alone and afraid. And in my troubled dreams watch you leave, again and again.

For the balance of my days.

Slow Tears

i I look up
as a tear rolls slowly
down my cheek
I think about better days
and wonder if I'll feel that way again
you look at me
with those eyes I know so well
always serious, so deep and insightful
as though you're always in control
But not today
not now
Now you look so scared
like for once you don't have the answer
I gaze at you
looking deep into those hazel eyes
Hoping to understand
why you've said those things you did
I wonder for a moment
if this is all a dream
if I shall wake in the morning
and be relieved
you look at me
with a confusion I have never seen
slowly pull me towards you
and wipe the tears from my cheek