Unhappiness & Depression

The Cause of Unhappiness
The cause of unhappiness is a belief. What happens, no matter how undesirable or destructive to our life, health, desires or loves, does not cause unhappiness. The belief that we have to be unhappy is the only cause.
We merely believe we need to have things or avoid things in order to avoid unhappiness, which we would not have to fear if we did not believe we needed to be unhappy.

What Causes Unhappiness
When a person is believing he/she has to be unhappy, what they are believing is that they have to be unhappy because they believe they are against themselves. The belief in unhappiness is the belief in being wrong for oneself. Unhappiness, in fact, means that I believe that I do, or want, or think, or feel a way that is bad for me.
A person believes: Certain things I do not want to happen may happen or are now happening. I don’t want them to. I feel bad (and am worried or afraid now) because I “shouldn’t” be thinking negatively about my life now. Maybe I shouldn’t be not wanting what is evidently happening anyway. I am (as-if) denying reality, and that is wrong. I will be unhappy about this in the future because when certain things I do not want or do not like happen I will feel a way that is bad for me. It is wrong to expect misfortune. That is “unhappy” of me.
It doesn’t matter that if the undesirable event happens to me from circumstances out of my control, or if I think I am the cause or part of the cause; unhappiness comes as me believing that I now have proof that I am bad for myself.
“Bad for myself” means I am not really wanting for me what I “should” be wanting for me, and something can prove it. The belief is that this event “proves” it.
Basically, feeling bad means that I believe that what I do, or think, or want, or feel means I am against my own best interests. I believe these are a bad way of doing thinking, wanting or feeling. The way I am being is a bad (wrong, self-defeating) way of being.
This could be called the same as believing that I will be a way I shouldn’t be, or think a way I shouldn’t or want or feel a way I shouldn’t. If we didn't believe that we could be a way we “shouldn’t” we couldn’t feel unhappy no matter what else we felt.
All unhappiness is the fear that we have a bad attitude for ourselves. We are afraid that something proves we are bad for ourselves in the sense that we are in some way against what we are for, and for what we are against. We are afraid that we have a self-defeating attitude.
The fear that we have a bad, or self-defeating, attitude is the same as distrusting the very source or cause of our motivation. We are unhappy when we believe our very life, our heart, our self is against all that we live for; our personal happiness.
Happiness is the freedom to be as we are, however we are; richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, gaining or losing, succeeding or failing, wanting or not wanting, approving or not approving, forever. Happy is what we are and what we’ll be if we don’t believe we are wrong to be as we are.

The Seven Understandings of All Unhappiness

1. Unhappiness is the feeling of a belief about a perceived or imagined phenomena; not an experience caused by the phenomena or anything else.
2. Unhappiness is experiencing your own believing that an event is bad and/or should not be because you believe IT causes unhappiness.
3. Believing something causes unhappiness is the very reason it seems to “cause” unhappiness.
4. Believing that something can cause unhappiness is the only cause of the fear of it. By “fear” is meant loathing, need to avoid, need to cure, need to kill or eliminate, disgust, hatred, terror, horror, repulsion, disdain and all such similar feelings.
Fear is not a simple desire to avoid, destroy or otherwise prevent or eliminate a threat to your desire values. That attitude does not need to presume avoiding unhappiness in order to justify a simple desire.
5. Believing someone or something is morally wrong or evil, psychologically “sick” or behaviorally inappropriate is to fear that person or thing as if it could cause unhappiness.
6. Unhappiness is fearing that unhappiness can “happen” or be caused by anything.
7. Unhappiness is believing that something is necessary, something has to be, should be, ought to be, or must be other than what it is.

ways to be happy................

What is happiness? We all have our own definitions. It could be feeling joyful, optimistic, content, or even just truly relaxed. Some may say that happiness is freedom from the kind of strain or unhappiness they used to feel. Some are not even sure happiness is something they have time for. They may think, “It’s enough to just get through my to-do list every day. I don’t have time to pursue happiness on top of everything else.” And yet, would they insist that they must strain and feel tense to accomplish their goals? Or might they think they can feel peace of mind, content, yes, even happy, and still succeed in getting everything done? So here are ten sure-fire ways to increase your happiness quotient and achieve your goals more easily than before!

Don't expect perfection from yourself or anyone else. Don't forget this is planet Earth. And don’t expect perfection in working these happiness tips, either. Lean into them everyday, and your life can change. Progress is good enough.
Accept. Stop judging. When we judge ourselves, our circumstances, or other people, it leaves no opening to settle into and accept “what is.” If your circumstances seem too severe to accept, try to resist less. And less. You will give yourself emotional space to move toward acceptance and change at the same time. Sounds like a contradiction, but that’s the beauty. It isn't.

Stay in the present. Do not waste time and energy regretting the past or worrying about the future. Worry is a drain. We might think that worry teaches us or motivates us, but calm presence is the best source of happiness, wisdom, and positive action.

Be grateful. When we put our attention on all the good in our lives, the good tends to increase. Remember to be thankful for the small blessings, the everyday things.

Decide to be happy. Having the intention to be happy, regardless of current circumstances, attracts conditions that support you. The old saying that “like attracts like” even works with your intentions. They act like a magnet and draw to you more of what you are already resonating. If you want to be happy, make happiness your first desire.

Be self-authorized. Stop making choices based on what others believe you should do, think, or be. Stay true to your own innate knowing of what is best for you. Speak your truth in a kind manner. Let others be responsible for their reactions.

Choose how you feel. We often say that something or someone "made" us feel a certain way. And yet, as we watch people react so differently to the same event, we see with our own eyes that people choose how they feel. Learn to pause. Take a moment to choose how you wish to react and feel. You may be surprised at how much leeway you have!

Examine your beliefs. Often things in our life we accept as facts are really self-defeating beliefs. Once you find these beliefs are not true, they will shift and dissolve. Beliefs influence every decision you make.
Expand your options. Allow for more possibilities in the present and future, regardless of past experience. Drop the word "can’t" from your self-talk. Allow yourself to dream big. On a weekly basis, write down all your desires, and let the sky be the limit.

Create what you desire. Rather than putting all your energy into pushing away the things you don’t want, direct your energy into creating what you do want. Come up with even just one action step - and then the next - and start building the life you desire.