dumped?

There is not an easy answer on how to recover from being dumped by someone that you love. When you are experiencing the agony of a heartache, many people will offer you advice that you do not want to hear at that moment. You may hear comments like "I told you so", "you can do much better", or "it's their loss" and even the ever so popular "just get over it, you don't need them". No one can measure the amount of pain that you are feeling, and all the emotions that are attached.

You may experience feelings of rejection, betrayal, sorrow, loneliness or even anger. It is normal to dwell on all the good times in the relationship and forget anything that was negative. You may begin to blame yourself, and wonder what you could have done differently. Your pain is real and although most people have experienced a similar loss, your feelings are incomparable. Everyone deals with situations differently and there is not one person that can identify with the way it affects you.

The good news is that you are in control of your feelings and can determine the outcome. You can decide what is the best remedy for you in this situation. You may chose to stay busy and surround yourself with positive people, so that you are not alone to dwell on the emptiness that you feel. Eventually you will have to deal with your emotions, instead of camouflaging them in a crowd. You may want to be alone with a gallon of Ben & Jerry's ice cream, looking at photographs, and listening to sappy love songs. It is good to cry and release the emotions that you are feeling.

The one mistake that you should avoid is contacting the one who dumped you. This person did not care about your feelings when they dumped you, why would they care how you are feeling now? I remember my first heartbreak. I did not think the pain would ever go away. My Daddy told me "quit crying, because no man is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry". I can assure you that the pain is only temporary and will eventually fade. One day you will look back on your relationship without regret. Every relationship that you experience should be a preparation for the final one. Sometimes you have to trample through bad weeds to find your castle, but the thorns that pricked you along the way will miraculously heal when you arrive at your destination.

Do not be consumed with the notion that you were dumped by someone that you loved. Instead, remember the feelings of being in love and that you can experience that once again with someone that will value your relationship. Time heals wounds, and will guide you to the castle that is waiting for your arrival.